Undressing Infidelity

Last spring I read Undressing Infidelity; Why Do Women Cheat by Diane Shader Smith. Why? I find books on family and relationships fascinating. Unfortunately the book did not provide the answers to that particular question. It just gave some examples of extra-marital affairs. But it did raise a question in my mind, Why do women cheat? One does not really give a second thought to husbands that cheat. Like my grandma Swanigan said, “They can’t help it! They are men!” Although some facts show that women are less likely to cheat than men statistics show that the number of cheating women now equals the number of cheating men.

So why do wives cheat? You would not believe how many hits I got when I Googled cheating wives! Hundreds of thousands! There was one site that provided three reasons why women cheat. According to this site one of the reasons why wives cheat is from the lack of attention from their husbands. After a while a husband does not look at his wife the same way he used to and she becomes “the next best thing to football.” It makes me think of an old Ukrainian joke where a wife would do this and that to change her appearance and her husband would never notice. Then one day she put on a gas mask just to see if he would notice and he just looked at her and said, “Did you pluck your eyebrows again?” Then when a stranger notices her beauty and complements her, she feels sexy and desirable once more. She blossoms from receiving the emotional attention she is craving so much and is not getting at home any more. So, reason number one: attention and emotional feedback.

The second reason wives cheat is to have a revenge on their cheating husbands. “Hell has no fury like a woman scorned!” You do not want to mess with an angry woman! I have seen some hilarious videos on U-Tube where women spill paint on the guy’s beloved car, smash it all to bits, or throw all of his electronic possessions out a second story window! By cheating on her husband a woman feels that she has proved to him that she too can play that game! As for me, if I ever find out that my husband is cheating on me, I will not seek revenge. I will just sic his mom on him!

The third reason is simply for the thrill of it! It usually happens to the women in their forties who feel like their life is almost over and they have not even “lived” it yet! Shows like Sex and the City demonstrate to them the sexual freedom they can have. Each new affair gives the new excitement of a conquest. Do you remember those first dates with your loved one? The fluttering of butterflies in your stomach each time you saw him, your heart beating wildly just from the sight of his name, wanting to be with him every second of the day and missing him the minute he left. Well, thrill seeking women strive on that very feeling. They live for the thrill of the emotional high these relationships give them. But the newness of the feeling wears off and they move on to a next conquest. These women have no intention of leaving their husband. They just need a little more excitement in their lives. For that very reason they will most likely pick a married man for he will give all of this excitement without any strings attached.

How depressing it is to read all the statistics of cheating wives who do not think of the consequences their fling will cost them. Sadly, most of the cheating wives would never dream about cheating on their husbands before it actually happened. They are just caught up in the heat of a moment and the next thing they know, the affair has happened. There are tons of sites online that can help one find someone to cheat with and give advice on how to have an affair without being caught. I do hope that at least some of these women will stop and think of all the hurt and pain they will cause to their loved ones if they follow through with the affair.