The Alex Series

Yes, today I will talk about my Canadian friend Alex! The girl is hilarious and gives me a lot to laugh about! She makes me laugh every single time I get together with her and today I decided to share some of those laughs with you.

Last week started for poor Alex in a pretty rough way. On Saturday night she was at birthday party with an 80s theme. She dressed appropriately and looked, as she mildly put it, “as a hooker.” As she was walking down the people’s drive she slipped and fell in an awkward way dislocating and breaking her ankle and a part of her lower leg. She did not want to be taken to the Zomba Central Hospital because if you are not dead when you’ve arrived there they will make sure that is corrected! So she was taken to a Canadian couple who work with the Dignitas aid agency and are doctors. Because she was in such bad shape they did not want to take her out of the car and decided to put her ankle back into place right there. Alex said that Jose Shull got in the car behind her, Helen Jones, Alex’s boss, was holding Alex’s leg in place, and Michael Shull was working on her foot. She said it made her think that she was giving birth to a baby in the car! After Michael finished with her foot he said that that type of procedure is usually done while people are put under. Alex’s comment to that was, “And you are telling me this NOW?”

By the time I came to see her in the hospital she already had had her surgery and had a cast on. She was in a pretty good humor and was back to her cheerful self. One of her comments made me roll. She said, “I only broke my foot but it feels as if I had a baby since seems like everyone has seen me naked!” She was griping about her British doctor whom she could not understand, and neither could I for that matter, and his “Is everything cheekary-doo?” comments. When I noticed that she had this stocking on her good leg and I asked her what it was for. She answered, “Well, it’s like one of the nurses so elegantly put it, it’s cause I’m fat!” As you can imagine, I doubled over laughing. I really tried not to laugh but it was bubbling over. So she said, “Well, I would get mad but I will let you get away with it since you are not exactly size 6 yourself!“

Alex is married to this really nice and quiet guy Andre, who is 4 months older that her. Both he and Alex are 29. But whenever people meet him for the first time they think that he is in his teens. I made the same mistake. One day my mother-in-law asked me who was the boy with Alex? While Alex was in the hospital she had people ask her if Andre was her uncle, brother, and--my favorite comment-- son! She was furious and demanded to know if she really looks so old! I told her that the beauty of being married to an older man is that there is no way he will be mistaken for a son! In fact, the wife may be mistaken for a daughter, but that is for him to deal with! :-)

We kept laughing late into the night over some things we have in common and would not be funny to you. One thing I know is that I will really miss her when she leaves at the end of June. One bad part about life in Malawi is that people come and go. They always say that they will write but it never really happens. I miss my loud and obnoxious Alex already because she is so much like me, just as loud and obnoxious! :-) As her quiet Dutch husband Andre said one day, “Are you sure you two are not related?”