Monday, February 1, 2010

Malawi’s Lonely Hearts

One of my favorite past times in Malawi is to get the weekend edition of The Daily Times and read the Lonely Hearts section. No, I am not looking for romance, but I do love to read them just for fun! You see, the wording of these posts is at times so hilarious that I end up crying from laughter! Today I will include some of the prime examples from the section for you to enjoy as well!

“I am a mature male of 29 years of age, working and I am seriously looking for an older mature woman with whom I can have a serious and discrete affair.”
Hmmm, would you consider me being 30 as “an older?”

“A 24-year-old and single male is looking for a beautiful caring lady of between 18 and 24 years of age, preferably a nurse or any other medical profession.”
Is he sick and needs someone to take care of him?

“I am a 29 year-old caring, loving, warm hearted, trust worthy and generous male, looking for a woman who is working, independent, driving and drinking…”
Is he planning on taking out life insurance on her?

“A 25 year-old-woman single woman with 2 children is looking for a good, trustworthy, caring man who should be a mild drunk….”
What does a “mild drunk” mean?

I know that there are some really lonely people out there who just want to find a companion to spend their life with and they put their heart and soul into these posts. But the way they do it is just too much at times! I don’t know who the editor of The Daily Times is but he makes sure I am not sorry each time I buy its weekend edition! My husband suggested that I send this post to him, but if he will start paying closer attention to his work, what will I read? :-)


  1. That is awesome! I can see why you read it. Those ads do bring up some questions, I wonder if they were just typos, or that is what these people truly desire in a mate....

  2. Thank you for the new source of entertainment, I was getting bored with looking up off-the-wall road signs (though the falling cow hazard sign I once saw still makes me laugh). Do you find these often, perhaps once per issue? If so maybe you should post one when you find another lonely gem.

  3. Oh, I will definitely keep my eyes open for more funny stuff like this. The local paper here is “out of this world!” We have an occasional resurrection, recently a woman gave birth to a rock, and a woman had her private parts “locked” by her ex-husband! I am not talking about tabloids either, those stories are in the main national papers!!!

  4. This post was very entertaining. It's always funny to see some of the qualities, if you can even call them that, that people are looking for in a mate. These are some of the more interesting ones I've seen!

  5. Those are funny. I have some friends that are living in Morocco and they occasionally tell me about the same crazy worded things. They guess it is due to the broken english/translations, but overall hilarious.